1. Relatively small inconveniences, like not being able to find a pen, make you feel like popping an artery.
2. Your toe is itchy but you can’t reach it to scratch.
3. You haven’t done a poo for three days and when you do it takes three hours.
4. You continue to engage in behaviours that you KNOW make you feel bad (like eating the WHOLE block of chocolate or picking arguments with people or watching Jersey Shore).
5. You have the posture of a buzzard.
6. You can never find your keys.
7. You spend a lot of time looking into mirrors.
8. You spend a lot of time avoiding looking into mirrors.
9. You frequently say yes when you want to say no.
10. You always say no.
11. Your morning tongue is coated in a white substance that looks suspiciously like perkin’s paste.
12. You hold the world record for how many colds and flus one person can catch in one year.
13. Your Facebook status is a perpetual rant about how much life sucks and all the ways you hate humankind.
14. Being forced to sit in a quiet space with only your own company agitates you to the brink of spontaneous combustion.
15. You can’t sit cross-legged.
16. You recoil from hugs.
17. You often find yourself smiling only on the outside.
18. You feel unable to change.
19. You can’t possibly leave a list at number 19 because odd numbers in the context of making lists leaves you with a feeling of profound uneasiness.
Copyright © The Yoga Experiment, 2012